Just Booze; The Red Flag

Sometimes, it’s hard to say no just because you have no clue how to say it clearly and confidently. Not because we are weak, but because we are uncertain of the end. And if we say No, we can be afraid it might sound discourteous. And, consenting to all requests is a direct tack to being manipulated. Grab your Ballantine’s Whisky and drift with DANIEL NDIWAH on this he narrates the drama.

We all feel more confident when we introduce our loved ones to our friends, right? To some of us, we feel more secure. We were three of us, Ezra, Abel, and Naya. Ezra’s girlfriend was Naya, and I had a girlfriend, Shila. Abel at that time was not dating but am sure he was taking notes. The three of us became so close. I was in a long-distance relationship. Ezra was staying with Naya.

We could go outs together and spend most of our time together. Most times, Ezra, a connoisseur of whiskey, could order some drinks and we could imbibe at his manicured back yard. We were accustomed to this, it underpinned our friendship bond. Whenever my girlfriend Shila came, we could do the routine, go say hi to Ezra and his girlfriend. Abel would later join us. Abel was not so tight on the bottle, just a couple of cocktails or shots and he was dead drunk unlike the rest of us. Shila on the other hand is a teetotaller. I today still wonder how we’ve managed to cement this relationship. Let’s just say, with Ballantines, there is no wrong way. As a result, she is with no dissent the designated driver. She would also esnsure I got to my place safe and sound. What a caring woman.

So, this particular Friday, we had reserved a spot at Empire lounge, in Kilimani to celebrate Ezra and Abel’s birthdays. I can see what you thinking, the answer is yes…It was such a beautiful co-incidence that they share the same birth date and both were Chelsea fans. Talk about couple goals. That very same day, Chelsea was playing against Arsenal. So, Ezra and Abel decided to go watch the game before the party could start.

Naya at that time was left at home. I used those two hours to go do some little work before the party could start. As we parted ways, Naya going to their place while Abel and Ezra went to watch the game, we agreed on where to meet after those two hours were over. Before I could reach my place, I saw Naya’s text. I decided to ignore since I was driving. A few minutes later, she called. I decided to pick maybe because it sounded urgent. In a low voice, she asked me to go back to her place and see her. I asked her if we could see each other after those two hours we agreed, but she insisted it was urgent. I was torn between saying yes and no.

I wasn’t sure what was going on but I was certain Ezra would get mad if he learned about that. So, I called her again before making up my mind and asked her why she did not call Ezra. She told me, ‘I need you, and not him’ then she hung up her phone.


Red flags are not always recognizable at first — which is part of what makes them so dangerous. However, they tend to grow bigger and more problematic over time. Learning To Say No Will Save You from A lot.


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