When it comes to flirting online, it can sometimes be intimidating to take that first step. But in the age of internet dating, it’s skewing to normalcy. Jane wasn’t about seeing the chance blown. FAITH RONO narrates the night after the car break down with Rishad
For one reason or another, dates tend to happen at night. While some people might try to have a daytime first date over coffee or a walk in the park, the dominant cultural script we have for dates (dinner, movie, bar) is one that begins sometime after 5 p.m. and winds its way through the course of the evening. That’s what led us to this point, giving suggestive stares with Rishard on my living room couch. I felt so comfortable with him around. But to him, he seemed so uncomfortable. I had to find ways to make him feel comfortable, I suggested a movie so we could converse as we watch sipping some snap beer.
He had no option but to spend a night at my place as he waited for the wee hours of the morning to tow his machine. By the way, I had realized men are not comfortable in any lady’s house. So, I decide to ask why he seemed so nervous. Na je nikipatwa na mwenye analipa rent? We laughed off and continued to a flirty tete-a- tete. Things were moving smoothly but something still held him back. Rishad was not like those other team mafisi and definitely didn’t show any sign of those who shag and pass. He gently held me. I felt sleepy, I could see how much he was struggling with watching the movie alone.
The light drizzle made the situation no better. When he asked for a duvet is when I knew he felt fizzled. I had taken the extra one for laundry the previous day but I never picked them up. So, I said no without giving him any explanation but hinted on sharing one.
Time to sleep
The night was deep in and we decided to go to sleep. I looked strange as he tucked me in and proceeded to just lay next staring at the ceiling as though seeing past the stars. I Couldn’t sleep. After an hour of tossing and turning, I called on him. He wasn’t asleep and we proceeded to have some pillow talk. It was candid, we talked about everything in life. Our past and what’s in our bucket list. Rishad could be open and told me about the grimmest things about his life. That made me open up even more. He had a way to get me going. His cuddle made me warm and the conversation so therapeutic. I still had a lot in mind, on why such a guy would stare at crippling prey with no action. “Or maybe he is married? Maybe gay?” I kept wondering. I respected his space and his principles too.
To me the most important thing to keep in mind when sleeping over with a date is that their experience matters, too — and how they feel about things could impact whether you ever see each other again or not.
I felt like just texting Samira already. Couldn’t wait. I felt like the story could be very interesting. It was dark. Suddenly, I saw some light. Rishad had an incoming text which halted our moment. “Which of the two would you like to be driven in? “he asked showing me two sleek BMWs. He was already ordering a new machine to be shipped in the coming weeks. I was sold, I even envisioned myself on the wing seat pointing where to go. Looking at my phone, it was 3 am! I had some knock at the door. No one could come to my mind at the moment… TBC
